Fri. Mar 24th, 2023

Welcome back to Cover Snark!

Squawk of the Were-Chicken by Richard J. Kendrick.  Both the title and author font have a lot of decorative dots, making every other letter look like it has an umlaut.  The silhouette of a rooster with red eyes is cast against the moon.  A woman with curly hair brandishes a giant wrench in the foreground.

From Julie: This is a suggestion for cover snark because I cannot stop laughing at it. What’s up with that wrench? And that’s one giant cock.

Sarah: You know all of those gifs of people looking baffled and confused? I’m all of those gifs at once.

Elyse: The font made me think we were using lots of umlauts.

Sarah: Aw yeah Cövër Snärk!

kiki: In the darkness of the night…beware the squäwk öf thë wërë-chïckën!!!!

Bitten by Flame by Kimber White.  A hot pink cover.  A woman with pink and teal streaks in her blonde hair grasps a man's shoulders.  The shirtless man is tattooed, including what may be an angel or the mothman on his shoulder blade.  A wolf howls near his butt.

Amanda: What in the Lisa Frank

Sarah: I am suddenly 9. I know exactly which Trapper Keeper I want. I have barrettes with long thin ribbons in my hair. It is the 80s again.

Also I want to talk to a hair stylist about how that dye pattern is achieved because wow that is artistry.

Elyse: Okay okay but what is that tattoo? Top half bird bottom half man? Is it the moth man?

Sarah: Who is the one who is the gay angel on Supernatural?


Also, I want to buy a van and get that cover airbrushed onto the side

Sarah: Pam G also sent me this glorious cover and says, “I would be surprised if you didn’t see multiples of this cover. Out of the oceans of cray-cray here, I just wanna mention the weeping wolf who–I am sure–will be calling his agent to complain about this modeling assignment.”

“Also, I want to challenge the SBs to say “Faceless f*cker farting fuschia fumes” 10 times fast.”

The Bear Bar Owner's Omega by Lorelei M. Hart.  The top half of the cover has two men and a hilly landscape.  One man is shirtless.  The other is holding a paintbrush up to his face.  On the bottom half, a bear guards a sleeping baby and a squirrel is at a painting easel.

Tara: I have many questions and each one starts with “why?”

Sarah: Agreed, yes. And “Wait, what?”

Tara: Followed by more “no, for real though, WHY?!?!”

Sarah: With a smattering of “How?”

Claudia: Wow. I thought Lumiere from Beauty and the Beast was invited to this cover but after much squinting it’s an easel?

Tara: Props for the artistic squirrel though. That little dude brightened my day, even as it confused me.

Claudia: I’m sure it’s harder to paint with your tail!!

Sarah: I know! Art Squirrel is holding a tiny tube of paint and I’d read a series about Art Squirrel

Elyse: All I can think about is him telling the ER doctor how he painted his eyeball.

Sentient Cyborgs by Jessie Rose Case.  A black and white cover of a man carrying a woman, but the limbs all see very long.  It also appears he's shoving her face to his nipple and her clothes are tangled around her body.

From Maeve

Sarah: I don’t know what’s going on over on the right side there.

Tara: Is he trying to breast/chestfeed her?

shana: That’s going to be hard since it looks like he’s wrapped a bra around her face.

Elyse: Are those her pants around her knees?

By cb2gp